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Submitted on
December 25, 2010
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Jingle Bells Batman Smells

Dashing through the streets
In search of rubber-duck
All the stores sold out
And Flash is out of luck
The last one in the world
Gets mangled in a fight
Crashed into tiny pieces
By the Ultra-Humanite.

Jingle bells, Wally fails
Ducky goes bye bye
Big bad monkey kills the Ducky
And makes the orphans cry
Jingle bells, back to jail
No more breaking toys
Guess they'd settle for Nutcracker
Instead of poopy noise.

Christmas with the Kents
In their lovely Smallville farm
Super-mom and dad
Await with open arms
The boy scout's full of cheer
But J'onn's all doom and gloom
They hole him up in Kara's happy
Pukey girly room.

Jingle bells, Jingle bells
What a tragic day
Oh how wonderful is sulking
And scaring cats away (yay)
Jingle bells, Martian wails
Presents wrapped in lead
Next year J'onn would rather run off
And kill himself instead.

Crashing through the walls
In a dodgy alien bar
Hawkgirl's choice of fun
Disturbing and bizarre
Shayera's on the loose
Her eyes are shining bright
'Cause after all it's so much better
Than a snowball fight. (Right?)

Jingle bells, John's in hell
Hawkgirl wields her mace
Oh how fun it is to clobber
An ugly alien's face
Jingle bells, dead brain cells
Violence galore
Hawk and Lantern passed out happy
Together on the floor.

Inside the empty halls
His Christmas spirit gone
It's poor ol' grumpy Bruce
On duty all alone (hang on!)
But phones are off the hook
And duties lag behind
He's sipping on some eggnog
With Diana by his side.

Deck the halls, Batman stalls
What's he waiting for
Wonder Woman drops her eggnog
And knocks him to the floor, oh
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh how fun it is to ride
Batman on the floor all day!

Uhh ahem disclaimer... I have absolutely no idea how "fun" it may or may not be to "ride" ANYONE, let alone a fictional character LOL. But I'm assuming Diana would rather enjoy it *evil* :p
Originally posted here [link]

DCAU - Filk/song parody, kinda retelling "Comfort and Joy" to the tune of "Jingle Bells", plus accounting for Diana's whereabouts, plus my usual random weirdness. HG/GL, BM/WW

A/N: I really didn't mean to write it. I was thinking about the "Jingle bells Batman smells" song for some reason and it got stuck in my head, and it made me think of the Justice League Christmas episode, and I can't leave songs alone for some reason, so one thing led to another and that's the result. Also when I watched the episode it just made me think, what's Diana been doing all this time? Hmmmm... so yeah. Warning: the last part is evil :p

Well when I wrote this thing it was August so I really have no idea what the heck LOL, but I'm posting it here now cuz it's Christmas. Merry Christmas and happy holidays everybody :)
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:iconmahgol-dc-lover:
MAHGOL-DC-LOVER Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2014
one of my favorite episodes 
nice job
Reply
:iconlil-hawk:
Lil-Hawk Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Professional General Artist
Thanks :aww:
Reply
:iconshadowssj:
ShadowSSJ Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2013
This is great! XD I just saw this particular episod days ago and not, I can't stop laughing X'D
Reply
:iconlil-hawk:
Lil-Hawk Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2013  Professional General Artist
Thanks :aww: I was actually singing this the other day cuz I dunno the real words LOL =p :XD:

Thanks for faving :D
Reply
:iconshadowssj:
ShadowSSJ Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2013
Joker was singing someting similar in the Batman Arkham Origins game ^^
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:iconlil-hawk:
Lil-Hawk Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2013  Professional General Artist
GAAAHHH now I wanna see it, is it online somewhere? :eager:
Reply
:iconshadowssj:
ShadowSSJ Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2013
I can't find it on youtube. But when I'll finish the game again, I'll try to remember to film it with my phone ^^
Reply
:iconlil-hawk:
Lil-Hawk Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2013  Professional General Artist
Thanks :aww:
Reply
:iconjokeracolyte:
Jokeracolyte Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2014
The joker sings that song in a Batman cartoon episode. You can find it on youtube with the name "Christmas with the Joker - Jingle Bells"
Reply
:iconlil-hawk:
Lil-Hawk Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2014  Professional General Artist
Oh that one, yeah I know that one LOL, I thought there was another one. :giggle:
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