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Jingle Bells Batman Smells

Dashing through the streets
In search of rubber-duck
All the stores sold out
And Flash is out of luck
The last one in the world
Gets mangled in a fight
Crashed into tiny pieces
By the Ultra-Humanite.

Jingle bells, Wally fails
Ducky goes bye bye
Big bad monkey kills the Ducky
And makes the orphans cry
Jingle bells, back to jail
No more breaking toys
Guess they'd settle for Nutcracker
Instead of poopy noise.

Christmas with the Kents
In their lovely Smallville farm
Super-mom and dad
Await with open arms
The boy scout's full of cheer
But J'onn's all doom and gloom
They hole him up in Kara's happy
Pukey girly room.

Jingle bells, Jingle bells
What a tragic day
Oh how wonderful is sulking
And scaring cats away (yay)
Jingle bells, Martian wails
Presents wrapped in lead
Next year J'onn would rather run off
And kill himself instead.

Crashing through the walls
In a dodgy alien bar
Hawkgirl's choice of fun
Disturbing and bizarre
Shayera's on the loose
Her eyes are shining bright
'Cause after all it's so much better
Than a snowball fight. (Right?)

Jingle bells, John's in hell
Hawkgirl wields her mace
Oh how fun it is to clobber
An ugly alien's face
Jingle bells, dead brain cells
Violence galore
Hawk and Lantern passed out happy
Together on the floor.

Inside the empty halls
His Christmas spirit gone
It's poor ol' grumpy Bruce
On duty all alone (hang on!)
But phones are off the hook
And duties lag behind
He's sipping on some eggnog
With Diana by his side.

Deck the halls, Batman stalls
What's he waiting for
Wonder Woman drops her eggnog
And knocks him to the floor, oh
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh how fun it is to ride
Batman on the floor all day!

Uhh ahem disclaimer... I have absolutely no idea how "fun" it may or may not be to "ride" ANYONE, let alone a fictional character LOL. But I'm assuming Diana would rather enjoy it *evil* :p
Originally posted here [link]

DCAU - Filk/song parody, kinda retelling "Comfort and Joy" to the tune of "Jingle Bells", plus accounting for Diana's whereabouts, plus my usual random weirdness. HG/GL, BM/WW

A/N: I really didn't mean to write it. I was thinking about the "Jingle bells Batman smells" song for some reason and it got stuck in my head, and it made me think of the Justice League Christmas episode, and I can't leave songs alone for some reason, so one thing led to another and that's the result. Also when I watched the episode it just made me think, what's Diana been doing all this time? Hmmmm... so yeah. Warning: the last part is evil :p

Well when I wrote this thing it was August so I really have no idea what the heck LOL, but I'm posting it here now cuz it's Christmas. Merry Christmas and happy holidays everybody :)
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:iconreptilegirl06:
ReptileGirl06 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2014
LOL!!!!! I love this! Great job!
Reply
:iconlil-hawk:
Lil-Hawk Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2014  Professional General Artist
Thanks :aww:
Reply
:iconmahgol-dc-lover:
MAHGOL-DC-LOVER Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2014
one of my favorite episodes 
nice job
Reply
:iconlil-hawk:
Lil-Hawk Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Professional General Artist
Thanks :aww:
Reply
:iconshadowssj:
ShadowSSJ Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2013
This is great! XD I just saw this particular episod days ago and not, I can't stop laughing X'D
Reply
:iconlil-hawk:
Lil-Hawk Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2013  Professional General Artist
Thanks :aww: I was actually singing this the other day cuz I dunno the real words LOL =p :XD:

Thanks for faving :D
Reply
:iconshadowssj:
ShadowSSJ Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2013
Joker was singing someting similar in the Batman Arkham Origins game ^^
Reply
:iconlil-hawk:
Lil-Hawk Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2013  Professional General Artist
GAAAHHH now I wanna see it, is it online somewhere? :eager:
Reply
:iconshadowssj:
ShadowSSJ Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2013
I can't find it on youtube. But when I'll finish the game again, I'll try to remember to film it with my phone ^^
Reply
:iconlil-hawk:
Lil-Hawk Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2013  Professional General Artist
Thanks :aww:
Reply
:iconjokeracolyte:
Jokeracolyte Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2014
The joker sings that song in a Batman cartoon episode. You can find it on youtube with the name "Christmas with the Joker - Jingle Bells"
Reply
:iconlil-hawk:
Lil-Hawk Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2014  Professional General Artist
Oh that one, yeah I know that one LOL, I thought there was another one. :giggle:
Reply
:iconnearlyinvisiblemind:
NearlyInvisibleMind Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:iconlaughingplz:This is great!
Reply
:iconragdollfun:
ragdollfun Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2013
Go Diana! :D
Reply
:iconlil-hawk:
Lil-Hawk Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2013  Professional General Artist
YES :mwahaha:

Thanks for faving :D
Reply
:iconragdollfun:
ragdollfun Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013
You're welcome! :D
Reply
:iconlarafanvgc:
larafanVGC Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
this is hilarious! 
Reply
:iconlil-hawk:
Lil-Hawk Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2013  Professional General Artist
Thanks, and thanks for faving :D
Reply
:iconlarafanvgc:
larafanVGC Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
hey i'm just that type.
your welcome 
Reply
:iconkaylaber:
kaylaber Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013
LOL! poor J'onn...
Reply
:iconlil-hawk:
Lil-Hawk Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013  Professional General Artist
:giggle:
Reply
:icontobor88:
tobor88 Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2013
That was one of my favorite episodes.
Reply
:iconlil-hawk:
Lil-Hawk Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Professional General Artist
Mine too :) thanks for faving :aww:
Reply
:iconnimoehyuy:
NimoehYuy Featured By Owner May 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Lol my brothers and I were watching Justice League on Netflix and we saw this...omg the laughter is still ringing through the house.
Reply
:iconlil-hawk:
Lil-Hawk Featured By Owner May 26, 2013  Professional General Artist
Thanks for faving :D :aww: :giggle:
Reply
:iconshadowodinson:
ShadowOdinson Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013
I love it. With your permission I will sing this on christmas. This combines two of my favorite things. Christmas and Dc, geinus.
Reply
:iconlil-hawk:
Lil-Hawk Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013  Professional General Artist
Thanks, and yeah you have my permission to sing it LOL

Thanks for faving :D
Reply
:iconshadowodinson:
ShadowOdinson Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2013
Your welcome and no thank you for posting this. You ROCK!!!
Reply
:iconkkbatoretto:
KKBatoretto Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
OH MY GOD! I was pissing myself all the way through this! I'm still crying right now! This is the best version of this song I've ever heard! If this was an actually song I would sooooo listen to it! I especially Luaghed at the last bit! Oh god I'm still in tears! My maths class are currently looking at me like I'm a lunatic! hahahahahahahah!
Reply
:iconkkbatoretto:
KKBatoretto Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
OH MY GOD! I was pissing myself all the way through this! I'm still crying right now! This is the best version of this song I've ever heard! If this was an actually song I would sooooo listen to it! I especially Luaghed at the last bit! Oh god I'm still in tears! My maths class are currently looking at me like I'm a lunatic! hahahahahahahah!
Reply
:iconmeti69:
meti69 Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2012
Great!!^^
Reply
:iconaskeclipsenightshade:
That was SO hilarious! :iconlaughplz:
Reply
:iconlil-hawk:
Lil-Hawk Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2011  Professional General Artist
Thanks, and thanks for faving :D
Reply
:iconaskeclipsenightshade:
Your Welcome!
Reply
:icongreyranger:
GreyRanger Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2011
This was absolutely amazing. I can't breathe, I'm laughing so hard.
Reply
:iconlil-hawk:
Lil-Hawk Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2011  Professional General Artist
Thanks :aww: and thanks for faving :D
Reply
:iconmooch13000:
Mooch13000 Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2011
THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING EVER!!
Reply
:iconlil-hawk:
Lil-Hawk Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2011  Professional General Artist
Thanks, and thanks for faving :aww:
Reply
:iconmooch13000:
Mooch13000 Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2011
ur welcome, I just love this!!
Reply
:iconlightningbolt-13:
lightningbolt-13 Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2011  Student General Artist
I LAUGHED. OUT LOUD.
Wonderful :la:
Reply
:iconlil-hawk:
Lil-Hawk Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2011  Professional General Artist
Thanks :aww: and thanks for faving :D
Reply
:iconbilliam1988:
billiam1988 Featured By Owner May 2, 2011
Oh my god! AWESOME! FAVORITED!
Reply
:iconlil-hawk:
Lil-Hawk Featured By Owner May 3, 2011  Professional General Artist
Thanks :aww: :D
Reply
:iconpurplehated:
PurpleHated Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2011
GENIUS! I guess you've been watching the JLU Christmas episode xD
Reply
:iconlil-hawk:
Lil-Hawk Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2011  Professional General Artist
Yeah LOL, it was like August when I wrote it but the Jingle Bells Batman Smells song got stuck in my head and it made me think of Comfort and Joy so I wrote this thing cuz I just couldn't help myself :o =p
Reply
:icondehfentom:
DehFentom Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2011
LOOOOL love it
Reply
:iconlil-hawk:
Lil-Hawk Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2011  Professional General Artist
Thanks :aww: and thanks for faving :D
Reply
:icondehfentom:
DehFentom Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2011
Hehe,you are welcome!^^
Reply
:iconhakuspiritgirl:
HakuSpiritGirl Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2011
i love this! :dalove:

love the "Jingle bells Batman smells" song. i almost died of laughter when i first heard it :XD:
Reply
:iconlil-hawk:
Lil-Hawk Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2011  Professional General Artist
Thanks :D yeah I like that song too. It got stuck in my head one day so that's why I wrote this LOL.
Reply
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Slash and Fanfic by PantherQueen15




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Submitted on
December 25, 2010
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